Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
