Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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