It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
