I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
