shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
