i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That reminds me...we need to get swords
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
