You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
