I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
