I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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