I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
