I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
