dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize