Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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