those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
