never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
