Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
