Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
