I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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