If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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