I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
