Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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