Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
