sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
