YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
