have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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