I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
