I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
