Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize