i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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