she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
