Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
