Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
