Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
