Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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