Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
