do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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