ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize