I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
