people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had to cum in my sink.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
