her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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