I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
