I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
