he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
