my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
