there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
