please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
