i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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