Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
