I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
