What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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