Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
