By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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