this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
