hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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