just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
