last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
