just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize