its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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