I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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