Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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