We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
