Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
