I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
