Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
