what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
