What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
