i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
