I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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