"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
