i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
